This past weekend at RCDetroit, Pastor Chilly shared a message entitled “Walk Like An Egyptian”. Throughout the message, he asked questions for us to answer by ourselves or with other people. For myself, the one question that really struck a chord was:

“Can God ask for more? Do I wait on Him? Am I really available?”

Stemming from the beginning of this past summer, I had been concerned with whether or not all of the ‘holes’ in my life were really being filled with God. Let me just tell you right now – they were not. I was clearly devoid of all intimacy with Jesus, living the lukewarm life that had to try and look like Jesus, instead of just naturally reflecting Him. For a long while I had been avoiding whatever vision God wanted to let me in on – this being where He was calling me next. It’s not as if God were holding His plans over my head; I just didn’t have any intention of listening to Him.

Then the KABOOM hit, and the fake conversations I claimed to be my prayer life had caught up with me. It was starting to show in my heart, my day, and my face. After my “cold shoulder” attempts let me down, I shut myself up and just sat – listening. As I listened, Jesus spoke; and not all of what He said was the most pleasing to have pointed out. But God gave me some tough love and He called out all the parts in my life that were far from where He was. I may have been guarding my heart alright, but from everything that was good. Jesus began opening the doors of my house and said, “this needs to move.” I had become too acquainted with God just being this visitor who I’d allow to bring a few belongings, instead of really taking up residence. By His leading, every room was cleaned out so He could make Himself at home. From this point forward, listening and obeying would be the themes of each day.

Being in a constant battle with Satan can become intimidating, but I still have to be ready to take on whatever fight God needs me to head up. Every day I have to continue to say,”Jesus, I don’t know what to do, but you know how this day ends. So where should I start?” Then take His answer, and run with it.

“How do you handle promotion?”

When I first heard this, I thought of when I was promoted at Papa Vino’s, the restaurant I worked at before Xmin. When I was first hired, I was a buss girl. After I had worked in the restaurant for a couple months, business slowed and Papa Vino’s could no longer afford to employ bussers.

One Tuesday night, I got a phone call from my boss asking if I wanted to come in and be a hostess for the night. I arrived for the shift and was pleasantly surprised by the very little amount of training they gave me before I was left at the hostess stand alone. I was either going to succeed or die trying. Okay, maybe that is a little dramatic, but it was scary. As it turned out I didn’t do half as bad as I thought and the following week they gave me four shifts as a hostess.

For those of you who don’t know me very well, I am a rather competitive person when it comes to the work place. As a busser, I had always tried to beat the records set by my brother Ross who had been a busser before I came along. Once I was promoted to Hostess, the game didn’t change much; I was gonna be the best hostess that restaurant had ever seen.

After I got into the swing of seating customers at their tables, I decided to take it up a notch. Instead of standing at the host stand all night, I would venture out and clear a few tables here and there to stay busy. Week by week my activity in the dinning room increased and soon enough I was clearing just as many tables as a hostess as I had as a buss girl. At first, things were great. The servers all saw how hard I was working and rewarded me nicely with tips.

Then things started to change. Papa Vino’s hired new servers who didn’t know it wasn’t my job to be bussing the tables, so they also didn’t know to leave me a tip at the end of the night. There were still those who gave me a couple dollars and encouraged others to do the same but my spending money definitely went down.

After a while I started viewing my promotion as a demotion. I began to complain that I was being payed to do two jobs for the price of one.

I had to remind myself that it was not about the pay or the recognition, it was about doing my job to the best of my ability even if it was in the job description.

As a Christian I have to remember that Jesus didn’t receive an upgrade in His pay. When he was promoted to Savior it cost Him His life. Talk about under appreciation.

When God calls me to excellence it doesn’t always include tips. I have to constantly be willing to work harder for less.

Are you generous with your life?

When I think about answering this question, it brings up more questions for me. How have I been generous with my life? Have I really given my time, treasures, and talents to others selflessly? The only answer I have is a big, fat NO.

I always thought that I was pretty generous. I love serving and helping others, so I look for opportunities to give of my time and my resources. Yet, have I been eager to give myself up for others? Has my attitude been right whenever I was generous? Looking back at even this past summer, I can think of so many times when I selfishly withheld myself and my time from others. There are so many missed opportunities at home with my mom and my sisters because I chose to focus on myself and what I had going on. I should have been a daughter and a sister that served with all my heart and all that I had. I spent far too much time focusing inward, rather than outward.

I can see so many times that I (still) hold back because of my selfishness. Even when I think I’m being generous, there are times when I will still be holding a part of me back. How can I really let go of all of me, and allow the generosity to flow easily?

This question has really been challenging me to reexamine my generosity. Although I think I do a decent job of being generous, it isn’t enough. I can’t be satisfied until I can give everything I have freely and completely. What’s left now is for me to adjust my attitude and keep giving, even when I don’t want to; because God changes our hearts whenever we obey, even if we didn’t start off with the desire to do so.

There are going to be times in life when we are going to get put in positions we do not always like or we wouldn’t chose for ourself.

Maybe this time in your life is similar to the waiting period Pastor Chilly talked about two weeks ago. Or maybe it is a job y0u have that you don’t enjoy. For me, sometimes I don’t always like the restrictions in X-min, like not being able to call or text my friends.

This past Sunday Pastor Chilly asked us when were in that position..

Do you gripe, give up, or grow?

I want to say that I grow, but I do not always think that is the case. When X-Min first started I was totally fine with restrictions, I had prepared myself before I came. But as the weeks go on and the time away from friends and family gets a lot harder, whining and griping becomes a lot easier.

Pondering on this question, I realize that griping is not really fair to God. He called me to X-Min and he wants me to be here so I can grow, not gripe or even worse give up.

If every time I were to ask God to lead me and I listened, then while I’m there I only complain and whine, then why should God answer my prayers to begin with?

Looks like I need to Reinvent my attitude and be thankful that I am in the will of God even if it is difficult at times!

Ready to be Reinvented and live by this verse:

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus”

~1 Thessalonians 5:18

This past Sunday, my Dad challenged us all with questions throughout His sermon “Walk Like an Egyptian.” This is a question that really got me thinking.

Are you generous with your life? (time, treasure, and talent)

As much as I would like to say yes, the answer is really no. I am generous with my extra time and treasure, but I don’t give generously when I feel I can’t afford to.

I should make every area of my life available to God at all times… after all it is really HIS life. It is not up to me to decide how I use my time, treasures, and talents; I’ve got to surrender it all to God. God gave me these things and He knows how to use them much better than I do. I must first give ALL of my time treasure and talents to God, then I will be able to see the daily opportunities I have to be generous to others.

All I have I will give to God.

This last Sunday pastor Chilly asked a number of questions in his message about Joseph. One that really stood out to me was when he asked:

What name have those in authority given you?

This question really made me think and ask myself a few questions of my own. Am I a hard worker? Do I work as if I have God’s joy inside of me? Am I working to please God?

I don’t know what name I’ve been given by those those in authority. I try to work hard in everything as if I’m doing it for God and do it with a smile on my face. Sometimes it’s really tough but I think if your working hard and for God and your doing it joyfully you’ll never have to worry about having a bad rep or what those in authority think about you.

This past Sunday night on Halloween, the Xmin students and I were given the opportunity to be a part of the Chilton’s or Karulkar’s Halloween. I was one of the students that was able to serve over at the Chilton’s house, complete with popcorn machine, face-painting, masks, and candy! As children stopped by from neighborhoods all around, they were, of course, accompanied by their parents. The kids loved all the things they were able to do right in the Chilton’s front yard and it was so heartwarming to see the gleam in the children’s eyes as they happily gathered their candy or chose the colors for their masks.

But what really stood out to me was the excitement that also filled the adults that came up to our tents. When the parents saw all the activities their children we’re able to participate in, they too wanted to be a part of the fun. It was just really encouraging that even as we grow old, we can still have the mentality and zeal that a child has for things that should entice us. As I continue to grow older physically, I am working to stay young in my heart and mind – always being pliable and ready for new adventures. To be excited and overjoyed whenever God opens more opportunities to share His love, and then use the creativity He’s given me to bring glory to His name. Like a Halloween mask on a child’s face, God’s smile needs to always be lit up on my own.

“Do you gripe, give up or grow?” – Chilly Chilton

This question was asked of us by Pastor Chilly on Sunday morning during his sermon titled “Walk Like an Egyptian.” Pastor Chilly was reffering to how we handle the different challenges in our lives, and what our specific reactions are.

I have had many times where I have gone to give up, but have not been allowed to by the people around me, specificly my family this past year leading up to Xmin.

I had been living in sin and worse yet, I was lying about my sin to everyone around me. Eventually those lies came out and everything around me fell apart, the real me had been revealed. It devastated me, and hurt my family. I cried for them and how I hurt them, they cried because they were watching me deteriorate. It hit its peek on my oldest sisters 28th birthday last year, September 6th to be exact. I had made up my mind and was going to run away so that I couldn’t hurt my family anymore, I was giving up. As I was ready to go out my bedroom window my Dad walked in the room and said “What is that going to do?”I lost it and began to sob right there in my room, in my dads arms. In the middle of my tears, my Dad said something that I will never forget that changed who I was. “We can’t give up Ross. You have to keep fighting. We can, and we will, get through this together.”

I had given up but because my family hadn’t, and I can’t say it was just my Dad, even though He was the one I mentioned. I was able to grow, move on, and become a better man from it.

To close I want to say that some thing’s happen because God allows them to happen so that we can grow. Still others are brought on by our own actions, but God is still able to use those situations for his glory and our growth. I just have one last question.

Will You Give Up?

Are you aware of your eternal purpose?

-Pastor Chilly

When Pastor Chilly said this I took a second to think. What is my eternal purpose? I know because of a few different reasons that God has called me into ministry. But, is that my only purpose? I don’t think it is. It is definitely a big part of it, but not all of it.

I believe my main eternal purpose is to just love and serve Jesus. Now, part of serving Him is doing what He’s told me to do which means heading into the fulltime ministry. That may be as far as He calls me. One day down the road though, He may decide to call me somewhere else. If that happens, then my eternal purpose should still be obeying and loving Him enough to say yes and do as He’s commanded.

On Halloween Pastor Chilly’s sermon was called “Walk like an Egyptian” and he asked several questions for us to think about. The question that most stuck with me was:

How do I show gratefulness for gifts I don’t deserve?

God used this question as a way to point out my pride. There are way too many times were I get a gift and the reason I’m not as grateful for it as I should be is because I think I deserve it. Yeah, I know. I’m screwed up.

This past week God has been opening my eyes to His mercy and grace in a whole new way. On Wednesday He spent the whole hour of prayer showing me how great His love is for me and how much Grace I receive from His salvation. Through songs, Scripture, and the Holy Spirit God opened my eyes to His greatness.

It seems like whenever I get a glimpse of God’s greatness, my view of me seems to shrink down to actual size.

I know that the best way for me to be humbled and healed of my pride is by looking to my Savior and asking to see more of Him. The more I begin to understand His mercy and grace, the more my heart breaks over my sin. The more I see God the less I want to see myself.

My answer to the question is a complicated one. It isn’t about me showing gratefulness for gifts I don’t deserve, it’s about giving everything to the Gift Giver. I don’t deserve and love, grace, or mercy I’ve been shown so I just do my best to stand in awe of God and be grateful that He can love someone like me.